The Most Obscene Aristocrats Joke Ever.

h/t to Jon Schwarz at A Tiny Revolution:

DAVID BROOKS(where "David Brooks" is a stand-in for most any "centerist" Establishment apologist): Okay, so our act starts with us inflating a giant internet bubble. Then that collapses, taking the country's economy with it, just as we massively cut taxes on millionaires because, we say, if we don't the government will have too much money. Right after that we blow off warnings about terrorism and let 3,000 Americans get slaughtered. We use that as a chance to lie the U.S. into invading a country that had nothing to do with the attack, killing hundreds of thousands of people and turning millions into refugees. In the middle of all that we borrow torture techniques from the Inquisition and use them on people in secret sites around the planet. Then we make billions off another financial bubble, the biggest in human history, and do nothing as it collapses, plunging the world into the greatest economic calamity since the Great Depression. To fix that we open up the national bank vault and shovel out money as fast as possible to all the criminals who made it happen in the first place. Then—as the amazing finale—we refuse to prosecute anyone for that, for the war, or for torture, and we start killing U.S. citizens with flying death robots.
[LONG PAUSE]
AGENT: ...That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?
DAVID BROOKS: The Aristocrats!

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You Know You Want One.

Dutch ingenuity.

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Babysitting The Pterodactyl. Now Updated With NSFW (or anywhere else) Bonus Link!

The squawks are frequent and ear-splitting, prehistoric in their intensity. We're babysitting the Pterodactyl again.

Lovely Mirabel in a previous life.

That would be our youngest granddaughter, Mirabel. She's the world's happiest child, and sometimes that happiness becomes so great that it must be emitted in one or several loud and heartfelt yawps. Emily was the first to notice the resemblance to the pterosaur's hooting, and the name stuck.

I've even written a little ditty about it, to the tune of "You Talk Too Much."

You squawk too much, you worry me to death.
You squawk like a pterodactyl that is strung out on meth.
You squawk, squawk, squawk, you squawk too much.

You squawk about stuff that you don't know.
You squawk like a wooly mammoth with a trunk full of blow.
You squawk, squawk, squawk, you squawk too much.

You squawk too much, you quack and you quack.
You squawk like a struthiomimus that's addicted to crack.
You squawk, squawk, squawk, you squawk too much.

The squawkin' struthiomimus

BONUS LINK! WARNING! Not safe for work! Not safe for children's ears! Not safe!]

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